Quick, just throw something on top of it
by random-k
Summary: (And call it a day) In where some solutions are found, and a lot of decisions are questioned. Will also have some scenes that didn't fit for "What we were built for"
1. Worst babysitters ever

Quick, just throw something on top of it 

(And call it a day)

* * *

 _Maximum Ride has a lot of open plot holes, and questionable decisions made in the stories. Lets poke at them. A spot for any oneshots I have about this_ _series, and things that wont work for "What we were built for"_

 _I own nothing but my own ideas_

* * *

Worst babysitters ever

* * *

"Where is Ari?"

"He's with the Erasers." Dr. Noir answers, as if that is a perfectly acceptable outcome, rather than a nightmare in the making.

"What is he doing with the Erasers!" Jeb demands, as he runs through the halls. "He could get killed in there."

"No, actually, we solved that."

Jeb turns around, dread pooling in his stomach. "Just how did you chose to solve that issue then?" He's hoping it will be something stupidly convoluted, like training the erasers to not attack Ari based on pheromone scent.

Dr. Noire turns on the cameras to show the Erasers, and at first he can not find Ari. Then he takes a closer look at the Erasers, and realises, that one of the erasers is Ari.

"I asked you to watch him while I was at a science conference!" He almost shouts.

"We did. We have all the tapes of him, including his progress, stacked in chronological order on your desk."

"This isn't what I meant by watching my son, while I was gone! Don't any of you have the slightest inch of restraint!"

"It's how we watched your daughter. Why not adapt it to work on both of your children?"

"GET OUT" Jeb roars at Noir. He will have to debate the merits of firing the man, or severely docking his paycheck later, when he feels less inclined to kill him.

Some days, he wonders if there is anyone who works here who is not a moron. Clearly not him, or he wouldn't have thought his son would be fine in their care, while he went to a science conference.

He leaves the building, and heads for the nearest bar.

* * *

 _I know he supposedly just up and disappeared with the flock, but to pull it off, he had to have put in some prep work. And thus, Ari becoming an Eraser happened a bit earlier then said, and provides a reasonable reason for Jeb to leave the company, and not bring his three year old son. Still judging him hard for that, because regardless of when it happened, or what happened, he left his three year old son, with his morally challenged colleagues, like dude, what are you doing. I suppose I shouldn't expect too much of him, given he also gave his daughter to science genetic experiments, but if your leaving, grab your three year old, it shouldn't be hard to grasp that concept._


	2. My role is what!

My role in saving the world was what!

* * *

" _Max we finally found you!"_

Angel announced in her head.

" _That's great, but how did it take so long?"_

" _Well"_ Angel admitted sheepishly " _We were pretty sure you were taken by Itex. So we spent a lot of time invading their bases, with the help of Fang's blog. There were a lot of bases. Jeb said he may have been mistaken about what exactly your role in saving the world was."_

" _What? That doesn't make any sense?"_

" _I know! Saving the world is not simply destroying one Mega company, and loosing people millions of jobs, as important as it is to fight the culture of consumerism."_

" _That's not quite what I meant. How would that be called saving the world, when at most, I just seemed to have managed to get myself kidnapped?"_

" _I guess, as an instigating reason for the rest of us to make a move on Itex, when otherwise we would have just kept surviving and running away. "_

" _Since when do you use that kind of language, sweety?"_

" _Since I'm controlling the President."_

" _Angel! What exactly have you been doing since I have been gone!"_

* * *

 _Also known as a possibility for an ending discarded almost immediately._

 _As you might have guessed, this story contains a lot of ranting about the plot, and does not take itself very seriously. It's more a place to put stray things, so I can focus on the main stories. Very inner thoughts. Next up is clones, tepelaths ruling everything, and probably pokeing very hard at the plot and some ranting._


	3. The clone conundrum

The clone conundrum

* * *

"Hey Max" Ari called out.

Max sputtered. Since when had Ari felt familiar enough to greet her like that? And wasn't he dead?

"How are you alive?" Max couldn't help but ask, surreal as all of this was.

"Well, technically, I have never died. But I suppose you are talking about Ari in general. In which case, have no fear. I'm not a zombie. Just a clone."

"A clone!"

"Don't be anti clone here Max, most of the people you know are clones! Didn't you ever wonder about their wildly fluctuating characterizations- I mean opinions?"

"Umm…" truthfully, Max's world was so rapidly changing, and with such strange things becoming the norm, that she had simply stopped paying attention to it all.

"Wait! Most of the people I know! I would think I would have noticed that drastic!"

"Max. You live with a telekinetic, who messes with people for fun."

"Angel wouldn't do that to me!"

"That's what Angel wants you to believe. Truthfully, the name Angel, is a title, given to telekinetic clones. And there are a lot of them running around, and not all of them have wings."

"What?"

"Your Angel is the third winged Angel, as the previous two have died. One in Antarctica, and another in that Hurricane. Of course, you don't remember, you think you saved her, because that's what she wants you to think. "

"I- I don't believe you."

"Why does Fang have so many followers on his blog? Why are people so easy to draw into cults? Why are scientists allowed to experiment with genetics, without protest from the public. Either someone very rich is privately funding all of this, or the government is in the know."

"Ari, you sound like one of those crazy conspiracy theorists from TV!"

"Have you ever heard the saying truth is stranger than fiction?"

"You have a voice in your head, right? It tells you to save the world?"

Max nods, unsure of how he even found out about that.

"I have one. And Angel has one. Its from other Angels. Jeb may or may not have one. It's a bit hard to tell. He may have gone kind of crazy, as you might have been able to tell, from his insistence you will save the world."

"How is that Crazy?"

"Max, what exactly are bird kids going to save the world from?"

"Itex?"

"That was more on Fang then anything you did. And how exactly did it save the entire world? Did it really stop anything? What about that time you went to Africa and saw that weird stuff happening in a tent, and left never to talk about it again?"

That was an uncomfortable level of insight into her life.

"Are you spying on me?" Max accused.

"I suppose I should have introduced myself properly. I'm Ari Angel."

"But you are male!"

"How sexist Max, did you really think all the Angels would be females? Or that all clones would be born Equal? No, while physical appearances can be modified after the fact, the odds of getting exactly the same person from the same people are incredibly low.

The chances that you would be born as you are about one in 400 trillion. There is so many little variations of DNA mixing, to make different people. Of course, they have gotten better over the years, with a lot of time to study it, and add bird DNA, which was a key to creating more efficient and exact clones then natural birth."

"Where are you going with this?"

"You are still the original Max. You have been manipulated a lot, but even though your Angel may not want you to remember this, the subconscious does not quite forget. Jeb may be crazy, but even crazy people can be right. If that's the case, you need information. Knowledge is power. So remember this."

Ari turned around and stared directly into her eyes.

" _ **Ask yourself, are the people around me, really who I think they are? And are my thoughts mine? Investigate, if you in any way suspect the answer is no**_."

Max doesn't remember, what Ari said to her at the end, and later forgets the conversation, or seeing him back from the dead, but sometimes, she hears a voice in the back of her head, telling her to _**Investigate**_.

Max feels trapped in a love triangle between a stalker, and someone who she thought of as a brother, and Angel feels more and more unpredictable by the day, and something pricks at the back of her mind.

" _ **Are the people around me who I thought they were?"**_

But there seem to be bigger crisis to tackle.

" _ **Are the thoughts in my head mine?"**_

Cults, are becoming a big problem now, and she doesn't know what to do, and the problems just seem to be unrelenting. She misses the days where she was on the run. For they were simpler times.

" _ **Investigate"**_ the voice says.

But she never does.

There never seems to be any time.

* * *

 _Written, because the Maximum ride story at times, would probably make more sense at times as a brainwashing battle between psychic manipulators._

 _Like, I like the concepts and characters Maximum Ride it is built on, but it has more hanging plot threads then a t-shirt that hung outside for five years, during which it was attacked by the elements, scissors, and a bored cat batting at it._

 _So sitting down, and trying to figure out what to do with it, is a bit like trying to write a long story with Ventus in it, from kingdom hearts._

 _I like Ven, I really do, but his place in it can be so hard to figure out for me to figure out what to do with. Like, apparently he was from the time of the keyblade wars. And was an apprentice to Xehanort. And is still younger than Terra and Aqua. And is also amnesic, and has his darkness with Sora's face running around, due to heart bonding when Sora was a baby. Also, Xehanort is a time traveler. Is that how he had time to train Ven, while also having Ven be from the keyblade wars? Or maybe Ven is a clone, from the Ven of the keyblade wars._

 _Ven broke himself rather then become the X blade, and Vanitus has a lot of darkness to him, where Sora and Roxas do not have a lot. And maybe, Vanitus is made of both Vens darkness and the darkness potential newborn Sora had, but didn't quite grow into. That Ven broke himself, worries me, because how is he going to ballance himself, with two halfs himself hating each other that much. What does that say about Ventus mental state before he was divided?_

 _I guess we might find out in the game, unlike the plot threads of Maximum ride, which seems to have lost the point somewhere in a sandstorm of ideas not fully realized?_

 _What was happening in Africa? What became of that assassin that tried to shoot them out of the air? What is Angel's game? What exactly were bird kids supposed to be saving the world from again, and how were they supposed to accomplish it?_

 _I sure don't know._


	4. If I were more of a Fembot

If I were more of a fembot…

 _Or Max's line above, made me laugh on a reread, and I Au'ed for a moment, how the series would change if Max were a female robot who's dream was to cook._

* * *

My name is Maximum Ride. I am the worlds first flying Fembot.

I live and protect the flock, winged humans on the run from their creator's. Their creator's are the kinds of people who will push past the established limits in the name of science. While it is fine to push past my limits, such as when Jeb changed my structure so that I might support wings, unchecked scientific experimentation will kill my flock. It is my duty to protect them, and I will not fail at it.

If I could ask my creator one thing, It would be "Why do I not have a sense of smell or taste?" Perhaps that is in fact two questions, but their omission ties into my greatest regret. I am unable to cook. The blind one, called Iggy by his flock, can cook better then me. It is to my shame, that I can not feed them, as well as protect them. I curse the creator daily for this omission.

Speaking of protection, the chattering one called Nudge, has flown off. Discreetly, I follow her, only to find her standing over a fallen human, and challenging two bigger ones.

That will not do! Soundly I defeat them, and turn to Nudge, who is helping the fallen human stand. Nudge, is bleeding.

"Human, do you know where to find a veterinarian?" I inquire.

* * *

 _Wanted to try an intro to Max being a fembot, though very few things probably change because of it. Probably just small things like, she is an even worse cook then cannon, she can not smell Gazzy, and now she needs a mechanic. She believes the voice, is faulty wiring, and keeps trying to find a mechanic who can fix it._

 _And then in book three, she meets the turtle woman._

 _'I knew the creator must be evil, what with not giving me a taste of smell, but her evil is worse then even I imagined."_

 _May be more later, may not be._


	5. As seen Online

As seen online

 _In the early pages of the Angel project, Max claims that they wouldn't know nothing without the internet._

 _Still, just beacuse Kids have acess to the internet does not mean they will use it to teach themselves what you hoped, Jeb_

* * *

The biggest proof that Jeb is not dead, lies not in his lack of a body, or any such conventional sign. Jeb is not dead, because the laptops he left behind, still have internet. No matter where they go, the bandwidth stick in the laptops he left, never fails to deliver the knowledge of the internet. Something Fang is thankful for everyday.

The internet has been their longest, unfailingly consistent teacher. From those laptops, fang reads, and eventually writes, blogs. Sometimes, he curls up and reads cooking blogs to Iggy, while dreaming of what he would write in his own, someday. Probably nothing like the ones he reads, and wishes his life was like. They ask questions to Yahoo. The answers are not always accurate, but it is his preferred distance to ask people who are not flock, for help.

Nudge and Gazzy read their first words out loud, from fanfiction he read to them, about stories they will likely never see in person. Sometimes, there are also online comics to enjoy. As long as they are not too graphic, they show Angel. Fang does not really see the point of trying to preserve Angels innocence, when she can read their minds. Not until Gazzy shows her Mr. Happy face, and scares her badly enough that Max intervenes. Perhaps there is something to seeing it first hand, Fang concedes.

Fang is not sure if Angel has learned how to read by osmosis, or has in fact never learned to read, and instead reads the thoughts of the person looking at the screen with her. He has no idea how to properly test this theory.

They read the Wiki's for cannon information, although some of the twists found in the fanfiction are better then the real thing, he finds. He tries to balance these stories, with information about animals, or people, or cars. They often get sidetracked, but at least they are having fun discovering new information.

One time, they discover Braille, and try to teach Iggy to read it. It's a futile effort, as Iggy is unlikely to come into possession of a Braille laptop anytime soon, but it s sweet, and a bit funny to watch them poking holes into everything, in an attempt to replicate the dots. Iggy obligingly feels them, and rolls his unseeing eyes when they argue over the placement.

Both Iggy and Nudge have a habit of reading everything out loud, to Iggy, regardless of if he is in the room or not. Iggy in turn shows amazing audio memory, for all kinds of instructions. But most of the time, they use Iggy's memory, and Gazzy's impressions to recite any and all video's they see on Newgrounds, or elsewhere. They usually have recitals on the flight to the next safe place, and are accompanied by Nudge's vivid descriptions of any action's taken in the scene. Fang still thinks nothing will be more bizarre then the Arfenhouse based recitals.

The flock all serves as Iggy's eyes in the kitchen, as he determinedly learns to cook, until he knows things by heart. He is Gazzy's partner in explosive's, remembering the rules and suggesting alternatives in their experiments together. He is Nudge's listening ear, as she talks of her characters latest encounters in AdventureQuest, , or Runescape.

And it is a group effort, that works to convince Max that the earth is flat.

Max spends a lot of time with Angel, and sometimes the rest of the flock comes together to try to teach them something new. The attempt to teach them cooking is best left forgotten. Usually history, or pop culture goes over decently, as it is often pretty entertaining. And sometimes, the lesson is a prank.

This one was pretty well prepared. There are photographs, video's, and plenty of online articles, as well as Nudge's fast talking that leave Max under the belief that gravity is an illusion. In retrospect, it was a bad idea, as it is much harder to get Max to stop believing in dark energy, then it was to sell her on the concept. It took several weeks, and a possible Angel intervention before she stopped brining it up.

Fang is not entirely Max has stopped believing in it, as she still sometimes talks about the earth rising.

Max spends time with Angel on the internet, watching relatively tamer classics with her, such as Smosh, Fred, Kingdom Hearts Chronicles, and animated music video's. Gazzy swears her to silence, and shows Angel classics such as Tankmen, The Ultimate Showdown, Ducktalez Z3 and Filmcow. Personally Fang prefers Spatula Madness to Charlie the unicorn, but they are entitled to their own sense of taste.

Max does not spend as much time on the internet as the rest of them. Yes, she plays AdventureQuest with Nudge, and reads to Iggy, and looks at things with Angel, and reads about animals to her. She pays attention to the recitals, stories, and lessons. But she doesn't do much for herself, beyond ask questions to Yahoo.

Its something Fang puzzles over for awhile, before he asks Yahoo.

Its not a question anyone can answer, but looking through other questions does lead him to information on how to access bootleg movies.

Movie night becomes a much beloved tradition.

* * *

 _Or, a look at what kids with no adult structure, would do with the internet. For kid's who's leanings came from the internet, the books did not seem to use much early 2000's internet culture, which is a missed opportunity, I think. Maybe a mobile internet stick is an odd thing to have, but how else is Fang so consistently updating his blog, or Iggy learning how to cook easily explained without it?_


	6. With the assurance of a sleepwalker

" _I go the way that Providence dictates with the assurance of a sleepwalker."_

* * *

 _I own nothing but my own Ideas_

 _The Angel Time Travel, I mentioned a bit back. Part one of ?_

* * *

I had not meant to go back in time. Really. Life in the future, was pretty nice. Yes, the climate had kind of collapsed on itself, and the population of humanity had severely dwindled, but things had eventually gotten better. People focused on the important things now. Like exploring the ocean, and developing the bodies needed for it. Recycling. Max's love life. Angels happiness. Er, my happiness.

Maybe that list might seem shallow to someone in this time, but people are shallow and selfish. In this time, they are all so caught up in their individual worries that they fail to see the bigger picture. They do not care about issues like Itex, climate change, or what is happening in Africa. They think discordant, contradictory thoughts that give me a headache trying to sift through them. It's exhausting, trying to keep them all straight, trying to care about them. It's why I kept to the flock, and smaller, emptier areas.

But my power kept growing. I can't just understand humans, but other life as well. While my power grew in scale, my control slips. Sometimes I found myself immersed in other people's thoughts. Unable to keep my own ideas straight, I projected them to others. I was pretty sure that I never used to believe that Max and Fang were a romantic relationship. That was Jeb. It's why I tried so hard with Dylan, tried so hard to make something different.

But it didn't matter. In the end, none of my efforts mattered. I've learned to live with it for the most part, learned to find the bright spot in it all. I'm trying to find it here. I don't really like the past, but maybe as an adult, I can handle it. Maybe my powers will be easier to handle now that they are not expanding in ways I don't understand. Maybe I can find more I would want to save from it, reasons to care again.

I can even help Max, and stop some of the bad things that happened. Like that attempt at going to school. Or better. Maybe I can prevent younger me from being kidnapped.

To do that, I need Max!

* * *

 _Angel goes into the pitfalls of reading peoples minds, and some of its effects. Had planned on having a separate piece for that, but it crept in and refused to leave._


	7. Accommodate itself to the comprehension

_"All propaganda has to be popular and has to accommodate itself to the comprehension of the least intelligent of those whom it seeks to reach."_

* * *

"So where are we?"

"Wandering around on a cold ,windy day, when it is snowing out. Just like we were the last time you asked."

"Why?"

"Its January. It snows a lot in January, at least in the northern hemisphere. Better than having fire season anyways."

"No, I mean, why are we wandering?"

"We are lost. The map we were given offers many possible destinations, but the roads are abandoned, and go off meandering to other areas, before going off in a completely different direction. It's like the map maker doesn't know where he's going, or where he even wants to be. He's not even an explorer really, as entire areas are touched upon and turned away from with no care for where they could lead."

"Well great. Why do we have this map anyways?"

"He was a very popular map seller. Everyone loved his maps. Everyone bought them."

There are no words between them for a moment, only the sound of wind blowing snow into their faces and the crunch of dry snow below their shoes.

"There are people who used those maps, to try to make maps of their own. Some of them even manage to make good maps. Others get frustrated over the lack of clarity in the maps and get lost in it."

"Well, we are pretty lost. Maybe we could try to forge a path of our own."

"What if we end up more lost then the Game of Thrones Ending?"

"What? Why would a book have anything to do with maps?"

" Oh, no I mean the TV series. The author stopped writing new material, and the show struggled to continue where the books cut off."

"I thought there was only one book"

"No. There's more than one."

"But not a TV show."

"Not yet. But it will be, along with Donald Trump's rise to presidency, and the return of Nazi ideology."

"WHAT!"

"He's like cartoonishly evil, except scarier because He's real. He's not even smart or audacious about it like Hitler. And doesn't have any of his charm. Hitler's words are everywhere, even in his quotes. Some people use them as titles because it fits the mood of the times. Because of how common they feel, and it should scare us. And maybe, in hopes of subverting them with it."

"That's terrifying, but how do you know that."

"Angel has access to future knowledge. And past "

"Is Angel a deity?"

"I don't think so…"

They both stop and look at each other.

"We can never let that happen"

"Jinx. You owe me a soda"

"Not happening."

"I know. Where would you even get a soda in the middle of a blizzard? Now, since I have made a confession, tell me something about you?"

"You didn't even make a confession about yourself."

"You first."

"Why?"

"I want to be distracted from the blizzard."

"Goats scare me."

"What!"

"I'll show you why, when we go to the library. But even that will pale in comparison to what scientists did to the goats back at... home. You don't want to know."

"It's not home! Not for you, or me!"

"I don't have another."

"Neither of us are going BACK!"

"Wasn't planning on it."

"So it's not, and never will be called HOME."

"OK… So what's your deep dark secret."

"The earth is flat."

" **WHAT"**

"The earth is flat."

"BUT its NOT"

"When we have internet, I'll prove it."

"Scientists go out of their way to disprove that theory."

"Scientists are EVIL. Never believe what they say!"

"Ah-can we talk this over when we aren't in a blizzard?"

"What do you want to talk about instead?"

"Umm… You said you would teach me to sing The Ultimate Showdown?"

"Oh Godzilla was stomping around-"

* * *

 _The blizzard chat I mentioned. Shameless dialouge chitchat practice._

 _Sleepwalker will probably have a followup, or a few._


End file.
